Are You An Effective Listener?
Go ahead . . . take a guess
. . . what is the most important tool in listening?
Most people go with what
seems to be the obvious answer . . . your ears! How else would you listen,
right?
Wrong answer! The most
important tool is your mouth! But only if used properly!
How do you know if someone
has really listened to what you've just told him or her? The best clue is the
first thing that comes out of their mouth.
Let's say you've been
working on an idea for a long time, and you've just shared that idea with your
boss, and he replies, "That's fine. However, right now, I need you to work on
XYZ." You’re probably left wondering if he even heard your idea.
Why most managers aren't good listeners
One of the main reasons
managers don't listen effectively is they are so busy. The unfortunate reality
for most managers is frantic schedules, tight deadlines and way too many balls
in the air.
But listening effectively
doesn't need to take lots of extra "warm fuzzy" time. It really is quite
easy. And when done effectively is a win-win for all involved.
For instance, with the above
example, had the boss listened effectively and responded accordingly, the
employee could have been validated and felt as if he truly was heard while the
boss communicated effectively his current concern.
How about this conversation
instead? "That's great! It sounds like you have put a lot of thought into
this idea. How long have you been working on this?" By responding with a (on
the topic) follow-up question, the manager validates the employee and the
employee knows they have been heard.
The manager can then get
right back on task; "You know, I want to explore your idea further, but right
now we've got a tight deadline and I need you to do XYZ. Could we talk about
your idea next Wednesday at our staff meeting?”
Asking a follow-up question
assures the person you have been listening. Try it in your next conversation,
whether it is with your boss or a customer, and watch the results. It works!
“Let your mouth do the listening” . . . or
reflective listening
Another tip for letting your
mouth do the listening is reflective listening. This form of listening
summarizes what a person has just shared and asks for a response. Have you
ever been in a meeting where everyone seems to be saying the same thing over
and over again?
If you have an upset
customer and you can mirror his emotion back to him in the form of questions,
you will help to relieve his frustration and negative emotion and the
conversation can then become more productive.
For example, "If I'm hearing
you right, you don't think a different telephone would work because you tried
that earlier. Is that right?"
Reflecting back to your
customer, or communicating to your customer, what you heard or understood and
then asking for their confirmation of such, validates not only their emotion
but can help to clarify the problem and provide the groundwork for moving
forward.
So why does he keep repeating himself?
When people feel as if they
have not been heard, their tendency is to repeat the same thing again and
again, or communicate with aggression or frustration. Reflective listening
ensures a person's point is recognized, allowing the conversation to move
forward.
Reflective listening will
help you to keep communicating which will allow for productive outcomes!
Those who have mastered the
art of communication are rare. You will be noticed and your career will move
forward much quicker if you allow your mouth to do the listening.
The Do’s and Don’ts of Listening:
-
Do make eye contact
-
Do lean forward and show
interest
-
Do mirror the other
person’s body language
-
Don’t interrupt
-
Don’t finish others’
sentences for them
-
Don’t multi-task when
listening
So practice being an
effective listener! It’s easy . . .
Restate what you heard (confirm their emotion),
Ask
for confirmation of such, and
Ask
a follow-up question when appropriate.
Do you know
what to do with referrals; do they stay on as customers? Next week we will
have some tips on how to get referrals and how to keep them as customers!
MEASURE-X
6227 North 15th Street, Phoenix, AZ 85014
888-644-5499
www.measure-x.com
The Customer Service Training Experts!
